the turtle speaks

Luke Hartman's home on the web.

Apr 19
This sign is strange to me. Do they speak Spanish 92.873% of the time they communicate or is that the percentage of Spanish-speaking opportunities while they’re open?

And why capitalize Time?

Ojala que usted no venga durante el 7,127 por ciento.

This sign is strange to me. Do they speak Spanish 92.873% of the time they communicate or is that the percentage of Spanish-speaking opportunities while they’re open?

And why capitalize Time?

Ojala que usted no venga durante el 7,127 por ciento.


Mar 14
I’d be leery of a dealership whose temp tag has: 2010 for the year; Februray 31st for the date; an inconsistent axis on the slashes through their zeros.

Of course, it could be a scam where you make the paper tags yourself. If so, get smarter.

I’d be leery of a dealership whose temp tag has: 2010 for the year; Februray 31st for the date; an inconsistent axis on the slashes through their zeros.

Of course, it could be a scam where you make the paper tags yourself. If so, get smarter.


Mar 13
Dear Sunday School Teacher,
We spell Isaac the traditional way. You can find it in the story of Abraham (see questions you gave. Also, the name tag you ask him to wear).

Dear Sunday School Teacher, We spell Isaac the traditional way. You can find it in the story of Abraham (see questions you gave. Also, the name tag you ask him to wear).


Feb 28

Jan 13

I’m a little leery of a world that charges a premium for pre-cooked bacon and pre-faded jeans.


Jan 5

I think regardless of your stance on illegal immigration, we can all agree that the border fence isn’t the best use of money.


Dec 25
There’s a healthy and appropriate debate about whether we should take Christ out of Christmas.

But please, don’t take R out of Christian (Especially if your child is graduating from university).

There’s a healthy and appropriate debate about whether we should take Christ out of Christmas.

But please, don’t take R out of Christian (Especially if your child is graduating from university).


Nov 2

This is embarrassing. US Americans should know better.


Oct 31
I’m not saying it won’t work, but probably not a good life strategy.

I’m not saying it won’t work, but probably not a good life strategy.


Oct 26

The problem with bacon burgers

I enjoyed lunch with my brother-in-law at Cow Calf Hay* today. I had the daunting Mad Cow burger: potatoes, pepper jack cheese, chicken, bacon, and burger.

Absolutely delicious. One minor complaint though, and it’s common with burgers at sit-down restaurants: the Bacon Dilemma.

bacon burger

See the bacon distribution? Fully half of the bacon is off the burger. The slices are arranged in an unfortunate X pattern across the burger. The obvious disadvantage of this arrangement:

  • It allows for bacon-less bites

The advantages:

  • It shows there is bacon on the burger
  • It allows bacon-only bites

Our server, who seems to be an otherwise reasonable man, suggested it was a feature to have some bites with bacon and some without. I disagree. If I wanted a burger without bacon, I could have ordered it. But why? Bacon is the candy of the meat world. No one wants a bite without meat or lettuce just so they can compare and contrast the different tastes. Who wants a ½ bacon burger?

Regarding the first ‘advantage,’ I hope there’s bacon on the burger. I ordered it that way. They don’t let the cheese hang off an inch all around to make you think you got a good deal. It’s not a bacon bonus (which would be sweet). It’s part of the burger.

And while bacon-only bites are nice, I can order a plate of bacon if that’s what I want.

Clearly, the disadvantages outweigh the [non-existent] advantages.

Fortunately the solution is easy: break the bacon slices in half and arrange them in a delicious overlapping manner across the entirety of the burger, giving delicious bacon flavor to every bite.

It’s just a shame that it has to be done in the first place.


* If you say it fast, it says Cow Cafe which is clever, to be sure. Unfortunately it took me several times of saying it out loud to get it.


Jun 2

MPAA and digital copies

MPAA, thanks for the growing trend of providing digital copies of your movies with the purchase of a physical disc. It shows you realize how much people value portability and convenience. The package of UP even notes how you can watch this on an iPhone or iPod touch. Very nice.

But I’m a little confused when you sue to prevent people from making digital copies of movies they own for personal use. How is this different from providing a copy for free?

Also, purchasing a legal copy of a movie (which is often DRM-crippled) is not a cheap undertaking, often costing as much as or more than a physical disc copy. This, despite the fact that it requires no packaging or distribution on your part.

If piracy and illegal sharing is the [understandable] concern, why do you make this easier on consumers by giving them a copy with a DVD disc and seek to make it harder for people to do the exact same thing (a digital copy, but in a resolution of file size of their choice) you’re doing?


May 28

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