the turtle speaks

Honest questions about Christmas music

I love me some Christmas music. There’s lots of uplifting messages, old-school melodies, and warm fuzzy feelings. I find, however, a few questions about some lyrics that I throw out there. Any guidance would be appreciated.

• Little Lord Jesus no crying he makes‽ What kind of [docetic] Christology is that?
• Holy infant so tender and mild‽ Is this a baby or a chicken curry dish?
• Who is Parson Brown? Does he frequently inquire into the marital status of people and is he in the habit of haphazardly marrying others when he’s in town?
• Is the guy from Baby, It’s Cold Outside guilty of persistence or harassment? (No means no, people)
• What if you only have heterosexual apparel to don? Can you still deck the halls?
• What and where is Santa Claus Lane?

There are no questions about Little Drummer Boy, All I want for Christmas is You, and Christmas Wrapping (aka Christmas by myself this year). They speak for themselves (and not in a good way).

What does it take to be a parent? (or, thoughts on the DHS process)

Kate and I recently became interested in doing some foster care, so we contacted a local agency and have gone through the process. We’ve learned a lot about it; it’s fairly involved. Here’s a few things DHS requires before allowing a foster child or kinship placement in your home:

• Income verification
• Background check and fingerprinting
• Auto insurance verification
• Three (phone) interviews with non-family references
• Health screening
• Disclosure of parenting styles, marital and psychological history, and interviews with biological children (if applicable)
• 27 hours of classroom training
• 12 hours of continuing education/year
• Home inspection, including presence of smoke detectors, fire extinguishers, appropriate controlled access to chemicals, etc
• Approval to leave the child with a family member or other person overnight

(These are from memory, and not a comprehensive list)

To have a child apart from DHS’s control, you need to:

• Be physically able to conceive and carry a child to term (repeat as desired)

These are good and red-tape and important procedures. The system needs this to prevent abuse: from those wishing to abuse the financial compensation provided and to screen the sick, unfit, and disturbed.

If society were able to impose a few of the items from the government checklist on prospective parents, there may not be as many children in DHS care. It seems strange that you have to have a license to get married or drive a car or operate a computer.* But not to bring a person into this world.

A license to have children is, of course, an unenforceable, impractical, and horrible idea.

I am grateful that as a society, we’ve determined that taking care of children is a priority. We have a system [that tries] to ensure kids have a home where they are valued, cared for, and loved. But only after they’ve been abused, neglected, ignored, or otherwise uncared for, even if their situation is temporary.

So I’m glad for DHS and the over-worked social workers and for those trying to make a difference in the future of children. There’s a lot to do. But that doesn’t make it a shame that it has to happen at all though (cue comments about the Fall, human nature, etc :-). It’s frustrating that there’s so much brokenness and pain out there and I wonder if it’s at least partially preventable.

* not really, but it’d be nice sometimes :-)

Postscript: I’ve been thinking about this for months and have reworked it 3-4 times. In re-re-reading it, I’m not sure how it comes across. I realize I’m human like everyone but left this as is. I don’t claim to be a great parent (or even a good one). Here’s to compassion, healing, and education.

I paid our taxes yesterday and, as usual, wondered where the money goes and what it does.

I understand that if there were a war, one could be a conscientious objector and refuse [at least combat] service. Why can’t we have conscientious objectors to an military–industrial complex and refuse to have tax dollars go to wars we don’t support?

I don’t mind rendering unto Caesar that which is his. But I sometime wish I could ask him to build roads or fund schools with it.

Honest question: What would hip-hop and rap do if “in the air” and “just don’t care” didn’t rhyme?

Probably the same thing top 40 would do if “above” didn’t rhyme with “love”

Why I married me a college-educated girl

Interesting short article noting that highly-educated women (at least a 4-year degree) have a lower[ing] divorce rate and much lower incidence of children outside of marriage. Surprisingly the moderately-educated, or ‘Middle America’ (some post-secondary education but no degree) are trending worse than the poor.

Highly educated women also are getting married more and staying in those relationships longer, according to the report, which suggests this is a “striking reversal of historic trends”

I’d like to read more about this. Is it that education breeds fidelity (unlikely) or that those more likely/willing to be educated are also those more likely to stay married (possible) or that education brings resources that make the dissolution of marriage less appealing (no idea)* or those who are educated delay marriage (most likely methinks).

And the fact that the least educated are doing better than the moderately educated is puzzling to me.

(I also married my wife because we met in college. Also, I love her. But those are tangential to the point of the post.)

* though it does bring to mind the quote from former Clinton advisor William Galston

You need only do three things in this country to avoid poverty - finish high school, marry before having a child, and marry after the age of 20. Only 8% of the families who do this are poor; 79% of those who fail to do this are poor.

Is it spaghetti without meat[balls]?

I dated a girl who thought yes. We didn’t last long.

Don’t hate the payer, hate the game: My Inner Democrat and Republican go at it again

My inner-Republican and inner-Democrat have another chat

RL: Got another compliment on the credit card recently.

DL: Oh yeah?

RL: Yep. The one where you can upload photos. I’ve got that b&w picture of ComplyKated playing the guitar on the back deck. Get lots of compliments on the picture

DL: Isn’t that a reward card? Like in the commercials?

RL: Yes. It’s the equivalent of 2% of purchases towards future travel expenses.

DL: And you’ve used your reward card before?

RL: Different card, but yes, ComplyKated and I used accumulated rewards to go to Prince Edward Island and Ireland. Planning another trip too.

DL: Did you read that report posted on the Federal Reserve of Boston’s site about reward cards?

RL: I thought about it, but then I saw their statistical formulas on page 40 or so and I got glassy-eyed and quit.

DL: Well I read nearly all of it. What did you think of this?

Because merchants pass credit card processing fees to all customers, regardless of payment method, cash-only households pay more per item and card-using homes benefit through rewards. Furthermore, since card use correlates with class, poor households end up “paying” wealthier households. From the study:

On average, each cash-using household pays $149 to card-using households and each card-using household receives $1,133 from cash users every year. Because credit card spending and rewards are positively correlated with household income, the payment instrument transfer also induces a regressive transfer from low-income to high-income households in general. On average, and after accounting for rewards paid to households by banks, the lowest-income household ($20,000 or less annually) pays $21 and the highest-income household ($150,000 or more annually) receives $750 every year.

RL: Well what about the studies that show that credit card users overspend compared to cash-only customers?

DL: I’m sure that’s true, but that only helps the merchants. All customers are charged the same.

RL: That doesn’t seem fair. Why don’t merchants charge different prices based on payment methods?

DL: Because most CC companies have a No Surcharge Rule in their contract with the merchants (NSR in the study). Those that don’t are reluctant to offer cash-discounts.

RL: Bummer.

DL: So don’t you feel guilty about that? The fact that you use a card nearly all the time costs all consumers — and a disproportionate number of lower-income households — money so you can get rewards?

RL: Well there are other advantages besides rewards: convenience, record-keeping, there’s no cute picture of my wife on the cash…plus that’s how The Game is played. It’s how the system works. Should I switch to being a cash-only customer and suffer financially — to the tune of $1,282/yr on average — out of a sense of solidarity with the lower classes or because The Game is skewed?

DL: I don’t know that I would call that a working system.

RL: Don’t hate the payer, hate The Game. Should we have no cards at all? What’s stopping everyone from using them?

DL: You were proud of that line, weren’t you? I don’t know. Perhaps personal responsibility? They don’t like the idea of everyone paying payment fees just so banks can get rich? Poor credit access to lower classes?

RL: I mean, if there were no NSRs and different prices based on payment methods, I would seriously consider going cash-only. It wouldn’t be worth the rewards.

DL: So you would actively oppose the enforcement of NSRs but keep using your card?

RL: For that kind of money? You betcha. Unfortunately, there are studies that suggest eliminating NSRs wouldn’t be incentive enough to offer different prices. CC users might still pay more to make the equal payments worth it.

DL: It just seems wrong. There ought to be a better way. It’s exploiting people.

RL: Yes, but people who have a choice in the matter. I agree it’s not ideal, but it’s not like we’re doing something illegal or going through a loophole or anything.

DL: There you go with personal responsibility again. How do you live with yourself?

RL: It’s hard. I relax by taking vacations subsidized by cash-only customers.

DL: Jerk. Well at least read the article from the It’s Only Money blog Those credit card rewards cost us a lot of cash and watch a short explanatory video and think about it. Money quote:

You have to hand it to the big banks. They’ve lulled us into thinking merchants are gouging us, that we have the right to use our credit card with impunity and reap free rewards or cash back.

In reality, we’re transferring the cost of this privilege to anyone paying cash or even using a PIN-verified debit card, which experts say is the least costly method of payment.

“The people to blame are you and I,” says Shane Kash, a barista at Palio Dessert & Espresso House in Portland, which imposes a $5 card minimum. “We allow it to happen.”

To stop it isn’t exactly attractive. Why avoid using a rewards card when it makes complete financial sense to do so, when you actually gain some of that extra money back? I’ll be wrestling with that question myself.

Lost and Found in Europe

Young folk return from a European studies program or backpacking trip and say with satisfaction, “I had a great time. I really found myself in Europe.” (or similar). If I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard it 18 or 19 times.

This brings to mind several questions:

1. Why are people getting lost in Europe? Perhaps they need better maps? (though, it’s been around for a few thousand years)
2. Is Europe holding people hostage? Perhaps that’s where people’s real selves are, and they then find themselves while abroad.
3. Is it possible to have a great time while you’re lost?