May
23
My boys need to learn this
(Source: tastefullyoffensive, via marco)
the turtle speaks
Luke Hartman's home on the web.
Mar
6
Fellow motorists,
This is an accident. Some are better, some are worse. Sometimes people are slightly injured and other times there are serious injuries.
Please stare at this picture as long as necessary. Then, if you see an accident while driving, you don’t have to slow down. Keep driving and maintain your speed.
Thank you.
Mar
14
I’d be leery of a dealership whose temp tag has: 2010 for the year; Februray 31st for the date; an inconsistent axis on the slashes through their zeros.
Of course, it could be a scam where you make the paper tags yourself. If so, get smarter.
Mar
13
Dear Sunday School Teacher, We spell Isaac the traditional way. You can find it in the story of Abraham (see questions you gave. Also, the name tag you ask him to wear).
Jan
31
Rules for talking to a woman about pregnancy
I continue to hear stories about folks who presume a woman is in the family way, making unfortunate and awkward statements as a result. Something must be done. As a public service to humanity, I make available the following list of rules as to when you may comment on a woman’s pregnancy:
- If the woman has told you. This includes:
- Her saying “I’m pregnant” or similar
- Attending a baby shower clearly in her honor
- Apparel worn by the woman indicating pregnancy (“Bun in oven” or “Baby on Board” t-shirts, etc.)
- Physically seeing the baby emerge from the womb.
- There is no rule three.
Even so, rule #1 includes an implicit 1-2 week time limit. I had a friend who, having been told she was pregnant, asked his neighbor when her baby was due. She told him it was born two months ago. Ouch.
Rule #2 is fairly foolproof, though a little awkward.
Otherwise, that’s it. No comments based on appearance, moodiness, swelling, excessive shopping at Babies-R-Us, randomly painting a bedroom baby blue, etc. This is, of course, an important corollary to the questions you don’t ask a woman.
Page 1 of 1
