the turtle speaks

I, for one, am glad that Mario, Luigi, Toad,[unexplained] babies and friends could get over their conflict with Bowser, the living/dead Koopas and ghosts, resolve their differences to give us excellent go-kart races.

I’m not sure how you forgive the perpetual kidnapping of the Princess or having large quantities of fireballs thrown at you and your troops, only to later team up and hurl bananas and magic turtle shells at high speeds, but they did it.

My Inner-Republican and Inner-Democrat discuss a NYT op-ed on poverty

Sometimes my inner thoughts take sides against each other and chat. Here’s such an exchange between Republican Luke and Democrat Luke (for lack of better labels).

Republican Luke: Did you see Nicholas D. Kristof’s New York Times opinion Moonshine or the kids?

Democrat Luke: I did. Remember we’re just two manifestations of the same person. You’ve just been hearing me more the last decade and since you switched to an Independent. Remind me of the main premise again?

RL: He said:

It’s [the “ugly secret of global poverty”] that if the poorest families spent as much money educating their children as they do on wine, cigarettes and prostitutes, their children’s prospects would be transformed. Much suffering is caused not only by low incomes, but also by shortsighted private spending decisions by heads of households.

Mr. Kristof, writing from the Congo Republic, highlights a man whose family is about to get kicked out of their home and kids kicked out of school because they can’t pay their rent and tuition. They have no mosquito nets. However, he spends more each month on a cellphone and liquor than rent + tuition for his family.

What did you think? I’ve been around longer, and I know what I think. Let me hear from you.

DL: Honestly, it was a little difficult.

It doesn’t seem very responsible.

RL: I know. That’s my thing; people are — or at least should be — personally responsible and culpable for their choices.

DL: But the system is broken and unfair for so many people. His circumstances are very different than yours. Ever lived in the Congo?

RL: No, but I don’t waste my money.

DL: Really? I like your value judgement. Eating out? Camera gear?

RL: That’s different. It’s expendable income. I realize when my kids need school supplies and when my rent/mortgage needs to be paid. I wouldn’t pay a cellphone bill instead of rent.

DL: Right. You have a little expendable income.

RL: Sure, but I’m a little wary about giving it to heads of households who ignore their families needs to buy moonshine and prostitutes (!). I can waste it better than that.

DL: Of course, you know this isn’t true for everyone, though the article and the studies show the scope of the problem are disturbing. For some people, the systemic problems are insurmountable.

RL: Yes, I’m trying not to get jaded. I just want people to be responsible.

DL: You sound so heartless. What about the innocent kids in poverty? Don’t we support a kid through World Vision?

RL: Valid. We support World Vision and Kiva because we believe they are responsible and making an effort. I’m not for hurting innocent kids. They need a better future and an opportunity. They need to be helped. But by whom? Is agency/government handout going to change the behavior of the kids? Make them more responsible? Remember the article:

Look, I don’t want to be an unctuous party-pooper. But I’ve seen too many children dying of malaria for want of a bed net that the father tells me is unaffordable, even as he spends larger sums on liquor. If we want Mr. Obamza’s children to get an education and sleep under a bed net — well, the simplest option is for their dad to spend fewer evenings in the bar.

So who’s heartless? Me or a father who won’t house/protect his kids with money he has?

DL: But at least if they’re helped, they have a better chance, even if their families can help them but don’t. You are lucky to be born American and white with caring parents.

RL: Yes, an undeserved advantage to be sure. But I’m not neglecting core financial obligations for pleasure. Not all white Americans are middle-class and happy.

DL: But you know better. Not everyone knows.

RL: I chose better, albeit from a better starting place.

DL: So what about grace? You want to be held responsible for all your mistakes?

RL: No, that’s a good point. Hopefully I’m making good life changes in areas I’m wrong. But I don’t want to enable others either. I’m all for forgiving people who want to change, but for people that aren’t sorry, or without consequences, how do people learn?

DL: Are we still talking about just poverty/life choices?

RL: Sort of. I want your perspective when it comes to spirituality/faith, etc but I’m stuck on the social thing. I don’t like the dualism I feel on this, especially since we’ve come to discount the bifurcation between spirituality and other areas of life. We’ll be blogging about that later.

DL: Sounds good. Did you notice the part where microfinance programs, especially those involved in microsavings and involving women, are making a difference?

RL: Oh, I’m all for those. I hope to channel some money towards such things. And I do appreciate the under-appreciated value women, especially those in poverty, have in changing the course of their children’s future.

DL: Ok, so how do you know who’s responsible and who’s not?

RL: Not sure. It’s kind of like buying food for the homeless. It’s a great gesture — and better than giving money — but only helps them today. It doesn’t teach them to fish, which would be better.

DL: So that’s why you like microfinance/microsavings?

RL: Yes. Not everyone wants to fish.

DL: Good to talk to you, as always. I do admit, things were easier when they were black and white.

RL: True, but when things were black and white, you didn’t have a lot to say.

DL: Yeah. I guess we’re maturing.

RL: Indeed. It’s bittersweet.

Thanks for reading the thoughts. I found the op-ed interesting. Mr. Kristof is no conservative, from what I can tell, which is why his short article was of special interest to me. He ended with:

Well-meaning humanitarians sometimes burnish suffering to make it seem more virtuous and noble than it often is. If we’re going to make more progress, and get kids like the Obamza children in school and under bed nets, we need to look unflinchingly at uncomfortable truths — and then try to redirect the family money now spent on wine and prostitution.

Scott Adams, travel agent. Travel agent, Scott Adams.

Scott Adams (of Dilbert fame) recently blogged on The Less Feature. After a frustrating online experience, he wishes he could pay more for fewer options in several areas of life, noting his fondness of a simple iPad as his example. I agree with his point (my Apple zealotry confirming this) except for his main complaint: travel. He notes that after fighting several travel-booking sites:

…The flight I picked had all sorts of seating options and levels of travel that I needed to research. Then I needed to arrange the rental car, the hotel, and the airport pickup. Then I took all of the information and reformatted it in a way I could read. At some point in the process I crossed a line: The time to plan and book the trip took longer than it will take to fly across the entire country… Worse yet, I don’t have the slightest confidence that I got the best deal or the most convenient flight.

These travel-booking sites that Adams mentions were invented to make an inherently complicated process easier. For a short vacation to downtown NYC or booking a flight and rental car to see family, this can work great. But what if you need something more complicated? Multiple-cities? Multiple airlines? Rail or complex car rental? Out-of-the-way hotels, bed and breakfasts, or attraction tickets? The multitude of destinations, options, customizations, and personalizations cannot be simplified. A travel agent helps navigate the complexities, either for an included commission or a reasonable fee.

Not that a person can’t do all this work themselves. Some, in fact, enjoy it. What travel agents offer is convenience, saving time and, often, money for the busy. Not everyone thinks this is worth their dollars, and that’s ok. For those that do, travel agents offer a great service. And the travel sites exist for those who want to hunt or who don’t need many options.

The tax code should be more comprehensible, but until it is I’m going to enlist the help of someone to assist me with my return. I can do it myself, but I don’t want to. Some don’t want to spend time cleaning or mowing their lawn or changing their oil and will pay extra for such services.

It’s the diversity and options that make travel great. Whether you want to save time or need more than simplicity (and I’m not sure which category Adams falls into), there’s an agent for that.

Disclaimer: My wife is a travel agent and manages other travel agents. Some are willing to pay for her services and others aren’t. It’s interesting to me to see how people choose to travel and what they’re looking for. It’s also sad when a problem comes up, and someone tries to call customer service on a website because a flight was cancelled or a booking was wrong.

Mike Tyson on community

Sports Illustrated recently published an interview with Mike Tyson, who has turned his life around, found Allah, and living healthily. After running through women, exotic animals, vast sums of money, and the occasional cartilage snack, Tyson reminisced of his love of rehab:

I was addicted to rehab. I was like the poster boy, because I would go to like five meetings a day. You were only required to go to one. I would go to five, because I’m an addictive freak. I love hanging out, the camaraderie. It’s just awesome! But you know what people want, too? [Tyson leans in closer, his voice suddenly quieter.] This is what I realized, bro: It gives people family. A way of starting over. [In rehab] we start a new life with new family members. And all they gotta do to stay in this family is not get high, and you gotta try really hard. And then if you do get high? “We got your back.” That’s what I like.

I find this fascinating. Tyson recognizes what, deep down, I believe we all recognize and what we feel deep in our bones: the need for supportive community. The existence of gangs, softball leagues, social clubs, and some organized religion reflect this need. I find that even in my solitary times, when I’m not especially interested in deep communication with people, I still want to be around others and give and receive support. This short quote helped me appreciate those who do not have that in their biological family and have to initially seek it elsewhere.

I’m sorry that, for whatever reason (I’m sure there are several), Mr. Tyson had to find it in rehab groups.

Our churches and families and other social structures need to fill this need. Obviously it can’t be forced, but there is a definite need to create a culture of standards with support and love. I also wonder about the nature of family in an increasingly digital age, as more interaction moves to non-physical forms. These “shallow communities” (to quote an Os Guinness phrase) are no substitute for meaningful and transformative interaction. Tyson also credits his wife with his turn-around, confirming the value of a supportive marriage.

My other surprise from the short interview? Tyson’s love of ancient historical figures:

I like classical biographies. Hannibal was an awesome person. Clovis was pretty awesome, the Franks and stuff. The Khans: Genghis and his grandsons. Listen, this is pretty interesting, with this Clovis guy. Clovis was king at 15. He gets to be king at 15 with some of his father’s ragtag army. Still, he would conquer people and take all their lands. He was still an evil guy. His bloodline became kings of different countries.

Tyson in his prime would have been a great Spartan general…

On God and diamond rings

I’m not sure to what degree God works. I hear people talk with certainty about what he is doing in their life, and I’m usually skeptical or jealous (more on that later). Occasionally, however, something happens that gets me thinking more.

Kate called while I was on the scenic drive to Abilene for work. She said, with some trepidation, that she had lost her engagement ring. My fingers have remained the same size since high school and my rings only come off with coercion. My bride’s fingers have slimmed a little, giving her rings a little latitude. She had done some work around he house and some gardening in the backyard, but wasn’t sure where it came loose. Initial searches were unsuccessful.

I’m proud of that ring. It was the one she wanted — simple platinum band with a single stone — and I was proud that I bought it with cash after working hard for most of a summer. There is also, of course, the symbolic and sentimental value. I had previously told her that she got a free replacement ring should the original ever get lost, but I wasn’t looking forward to ever making good on that.

A few weeks later Kate and the boys went skiing with family, and work obligations kept me home. I was outside on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, enjoying a beverage, sunshine, and The Divine Conspiracy by Dallas Willard. The open pages spoke of communicating deeply with God. I don’t do this well. I said a prayer asking for the concepts in the book to be true in my life.

The next morning during bible class, my mind wondered to the missing ring. I got a strong sense that it was in our backyard, in one of two potted plants adorning part of our mini-courtyard. The pot in the corner seemed the most likely place, with the ring in the middle of the soil. I have no idea why this thought came to me in the middle of class; I had not thought of the ring in a while.

After services, I went straight home and started unearthing the plant in the corner pot. Sure enough, in the center of the pot about halfway down, was the ring. It was not only in the last place I looked for it, but in the first place as well. I took a picture and emailed it to Kate. There was much rejoicing.

Does God care about lost diamond rings, especially with weightier matters in the world? Does the ring even matter in light of the lesson? Why am I still dismissive at times and give chance some credence? I’m not looking for hard-and-fast answers, but I am grateful for the lesson, the book, and the experience (oh, and the ring :)

I’m getting there (I think).